Hacked By AdGhosT & Tayeb TN & bo hmid

 

 

 

 

 

close your eyes and listen Elfen Lied <3

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Hacked By AdGhosT

Hacked By AdGhosT & Tayeb TN & bo hmid

 

 

 

 

 

close your eyes and listen Elfen Lied <3

Greets~:AdGhosT-- adel pro tn- Anonback Tnx - A_Ghacker - xvirus -Malousi Foryn - MaxKiller - Nexamos

Expat men, Chinese women (yes, again) » The Peking Duck

Expat men, Chinese women (yes, again)

charisma-man-comic

First let me say this post is a rip-off from a new blog that came to my attention that you should go take a look at. It just started, but the posts that are there are all high-quality.

The post in question relates to a recent Global Times article about one of our favorite topics, namely the imbalance of Chinese men dating Western women compared to Chinese women dating Western men. (We all know which way the scale tips.)

We’ve talked about this anomaly several times before. Here’s what the experts say in the GT piece:

[F]or one of China’s most famous scholars of sex, Li Yinhe, the answer has much more to do with Chinese culture than with foreign attitudes. Asked why Chinese men rarely date foreign women, she said, “I’ve asked that question many times myself. One possibility is, men just don’t have the confidence.”

Casual dating is certainly a lessestablished part of Chinese culture. Twenty years ago, only 15 percent of people in China had sex before marriage, Li said. Today, half of women have already had sex when they are married, Li said, compared with 85 percent of Americans, according the American government’s National Survey of Family Growth.

Yan agrees that Chinese men have trouble approaching foreign women. “I know some Russian girls, and some of my guy friends say, oh, let’s have a party full of blonde girls. So maybe four or five girls and four or five guys go out. And then, the girls are there, and the guys are all together across the room,” Yan said. “They are afraid to be very aggressive, because, traditionally, those kind of men are bad men, playboys.”

Of course, many men in every country don’t really know how to approach women at all. Ashley Li, a 27-year-old Chinese teacher in Wangjing, said that she was looking for a serious relationship with a Chinese man, but had wound up dating foreign men at times because it was very difficult to find a boyfriend. She’s been single for a year, despite regularly going on blind dates.

There’s also an interview with an expat who is totally delighted with her Chinese boyfriend, so we know it’s not totally impossible. But as the cartoon above indicates, its the expat male who has the advantages, fair or not. All he has to do is show up, loser though he may be.

Check out the GT piece, as well as the new blog.

______________

Richard Burger is the author of Behind the Red Door: Sex in China, an exploration of China's sexual revolution and its clash with traditional Chinese values.

The Discussion: 131 Comments

(And yes, I’m watching US Open highlights in my office as I get ready for class.)

September 2, 2010 @ 7:35 am | Comment

Personally I think all people — men and women — are remarkable, but hey that’s just my opinion.

It was a euphemism of course, a maggot riddled turd can also be remarkable.

But, that said, I think your continued use of terms like “Whitey chaser” and “gold digger” is sufficient to prove my point. Game. Set. Match.

Lets frame this in vocabulary more suitable to your intellectual-ness shall we? Women suffering from “colonial mentality” and “self-hatred” coupled with a desire for “monetary reward” for “services rendered”.

September 2, 2010 @ 7:38 am | Comment

Merp, you toss around phrases like whitey chaser and gold digger and liberally apply them to millions, and then you have the temerity to say, “I’m the least racist person here”? Oh boy.

How do you define “faux chivalric posturing”? Do you mean holding a door open? Letting a woman walk ahead of you through a doorway? Waiting for her to sit down before you do? How do you distinguish between “chivalric posturing” and being polite? You are just foaming at the mouth as usual, hopping from argument to argument. Like a game of whack-a-mole, you get pinned down here, you just jump over there and start afresh. You have no shame.

September 2, 2010 @ 7:40 am | Comment

Jeremiah, why subject yourself to this prior to teaching? It can only give you a headache.

September 2, 2010 @ 7:42 am | Comment

Merp, you toss around phrases like whitey chaser and gold digger and liberally apply them to millions, and then you have the temerity to say, “I’m the least racist person here”? Oh boy.

Millions? Yes, honestly it’s fair. Not really gold diggers alone, but as I mentioned women who hate themselves for various reasons. If you had any empathy for them, you would not condone their self-destructive behavior and mindset.

How do you define “faux chivalric posturing”? Do you mean holding a door open? Letting a woman walk ahead of you through a doorway?

Nice try. The difference between genuine concern and posturing are easy enough to differentiate- I hold the door open for everyone by the way. But I don’t puff up my chest when I do it for a woman.

You are just foaming at the mouth as usual, hopping from argument to argument. Like a game of whack-a-mole, you get pinned down here, you just jump over there and start afresh. You have no shame.

You wish. I’m the only one here keeping his cool and sticking with the argument. Others are the ones who can’t comprehend simple English, arguing with the straw men they created.

September 2, 2010 @ 7:45 am | Comment

Just finished my second bucket of popcorn. Great viewing.

“I never said all of them were gold diggers.”

But you did call Chinese girls with foreign partners the ‘dregs’, did you not? Nice.

September 2, 2010 @ 7:56 am | Comment

Learn how to read.

All of the best gold diggers seem to hook up with Overseas Chinese though, leaving only the dregs for aforementioned unbalanced middle-aged men.

I said the best gold diggers go for Overseas Chinese, and the dregs of these gold diggers are with “aforementioned unbalanced middle-aged men”.

Are you saying you’re an unbalanced middle-aged man?

September 2, 2010 @ 8:02 am | Comment

But compared to you calling all Chinese people Nazis, and cheering the deaths of Han everywhere, I would say I am indeed quite nice.

September 2, 2010 @ 8:03 am | Comment

Richard,

Of the many things I’m doing this morning, ‘arguing’ with Merp requires, by far, the least amount of RAM. It’s the academic equivalent of wrestling a field mouse.

September 2, 2010 @ 8:03 am | Comment

Because you simply can’t get a handle on it in the first place.

September 2, 2010 @ 8:07 am | Comment

But compared to you calling all Chinese people Nazis, and cheering the deaths of Han everywhere, I would say I am indeed quite nice.

You know people who call you a Nazi and would cheer your death?

Jeez! That’s awful. Seriously man, you gotta do something about your social circle.

September 2, 2010 @ 8:27 am | Comment

Please, no more! My sides are hurting with laughing so hard!

September 2, 2010 @ 8:43 am | Comment

Or maybe it’s a heart attack 😛

September 2, 2010 @ 9:01 am | Comment

I must say, this topic really seems to get Merp’s goat. Whether the same man/woman dynamic is afflicting Merp in the US, and he is projecting his frustration back at Chinese women in China, who knows. But he does seem to be in an awful hurry to disparage women who supposedly are demeaning themselves by entering into relationships with non-Chinese men.

So if Merp is as racially enlightened as he would have us believe (though of course we all know that he is anything but), here’s a question: why/how does the race of the man and the race of the woman matter in the first place? Man meets woman or vice versa, they click, and they get together. Race should have little to do with it. After all, for the non-racists, you’re falling in love with the person, not the skin colour. In fact, to prejudge who is worthy of being a mate based on skin colour alone is as racist as any other racist act.

As for this gem (“Not really gold diggers alone, but as I mentioned women who hate themselves for various reasons. If you had any empathy for them, you would not condone their self-destructive behavior and mindset.”), I’d ask Merp what it would mean if a Chinese woman marries a Chinese man (presumably those women “love” themselves), but more importantly, the basis upon which he draws such divergent conclusions. Maybe Merp is a Chinese woman after all, and knows how Chinese women think (though as usual, even in feminine form, Merp would pretend to know the thoughts of many individuals other than him/her-self).

September 2, 2010 @ 1:38 pm | Comment

Will someone please just shoot merp?

September 2, 2010 @ 3:20 pm | Comment

Ok I admit it. Banning them would be a lot less amusing than the ass-kicking I’m reading above! Need to always hold out hope that their are at least 2 (relatively) sane people to every insane person in the world…

September 2, 2010 @ 3:26 pm | Comment

@AndyR

I disagree, the stuff they write is boring and takes the debate off the normal course.

September 2, 2010 @ 5:22 pm | Comment

SK Cheung
why/how does the race of the man and the race of the woman matter in the first place?

You may as well have asked “why does race matter in the first place” period. Because race matters, especially because of whites and their apologists such as you.

Man meets woman or vice versa, they click, and they get together.

Again, you watch too much Disney.

you’re falling in love with the person, not the skin colour

You’re implying race is just skin color, which it is not.

I’d ask Merp what it would mean if a Chinese woman marries a Chinese man (presumably those women “love” themselves)

Most likely it means she is somewhat well-adjusted as far as race and ethnicity goes.

Zictor
Will someone please just shoot merp?

Aww, poor white boy, did someone hurt your feelings?

September 3, 2010 @ 5:20 am | Comment

Aaaah, the good ol’ “Well, whiteys were racists before so it’s only right that Chinese should be racists” argument.

I’m guessing this is a picture of Merp…
http://blackfirewhitefire.blogspot.com/2010/08/picture-of-day.html

September 3, 2010 @ 6:48 am | Comment

Heavens to merpatroid! You just don’t know when to quit, do you? You are repeating the same arguments over and over again long after the logical fallacies and intellectual banalities of said arguments have been well established.

(By the way, congratulations, you seem to have added a few new fallacies to your already impressive repertoire with this thread: argumentum ad misericordiam, ad homimem circumstantial, and a twist on reductio ad absurdum with your Neo-Nazi comment, as well as keeping up with your old standbys argumentum ad nauseam and argumentum ad homimem 1.0)

Do you really have no idea how to construct a logical and consistent argument? I suppose that’s why you ultimately resort to name-calling (See above) and profanity. How childish. How boring. How merpish.

S.K. Cheung brings me back to my original point: In this crazy world, people do meet and fall in love and have wonderful lives together regardless of their racial background. How do I know? It happened to me. Maybe, someday, Merp, you’ll find the woman, man, Afghan Hound, Xbox game, whatever, that will make your own heart go pitter-patter and you’ll know of what we speak.

P.S. I wouldn’t shoot you Merp, but I would love to give you a library card.

September 3, 2010 @ 6:56 am | Comment

Jeremiah, you’re on quite a tear! Of course he’ll just keep saying the same thing, but with more ad hominems.

September 3, 2010 @ 7:10 am | Comment

Yeah, reminds me of the old saw about never trying to reason with a man who buys printers ink by the barrel. The 2010 corollary involves reasoning with the Internet addicted…same basic principle applies.

September 3, 2010 @ 7:17 am | Comment

Mike
I’m guessing this is a picture of Merp…

But I don’t smoke

Jeremiah
You are repeating the same arguments over and over again long after the logical fallacies and intellectual banalities of said arguments have been well established.

Nope.

Do you really have no idea how to construct a logical and consistent argument?

I can, can you? Your argument that targeting a minority of gold diggers is racist, because it hurts your feelings and you feel the need to e-defend this group of people. How noble of you. Actually care to make up an argument, instead of grandstanding and inventing straw men? Maybe you won’t be so boring then.

S.K. Cheung brings me back to my original point: In this crazy world, people do meet and fall in love and have wonderful lives together regardless of their racial background.

And in this same crazy world, 12 year old girls really can fall in love with 58 year old overweight men. Five women really can fall in love with one guy. A 20 year old porn star really can fall in love with a centenarian. And in some cases, especially in the American south, some people can fall in love with livestock.

It happens.

Richard
Jeremiah, you’re on quite a tear! Of course he’ll just keep saying the same thing, but with more ad hominems.

Jeremiah is on a tear? In making things up, coming up with terrible “arguments”, and creating straw men? Sure. Again, all the angry white boys are the ones throwing around the ad hominems- not me.

September 3, 2010 @ 9:05 am | Comment

Regardless, no matter how many times you declare yourself the victor despite being trashed on every level by me, or accuse me of insulting or using ad hominems when I have not, or call me a racist even though am not one, doesn’t make it true.

You don’t win the argument just because you have sycophants and yes-men nodding to your every failed attempt to gain ground here.

September 3, 2010 @ 9:08 am | Comment

You’re cute when you get mad.

September 3, 2010 @ 9:11 am | Comment

I don’t get mad, Jeremiah is amusing when he gets his panties in a twist however.

September 3, 2010 @ 9:14 am | Comment

Case in point, I typed two words and this thread turned into a huge shitstorm because some e-heros needed to defend some poor defenseless gold digging ernai from that ole “racist” merp.

September 3, 2010 @ 9:18 am | Comment

Let’s give it a rest, merpy. Everyone can see what happened here. If you think you”won” then more power to you. But we’ve definitely exhausted the subject.

September 3, 2010 @ 10:10 am | Comment

I’m not going to venture into most of this, but wanted to contribute something that I see as positive.

Merp mentioned that many non-white women who are in committed relationships with white men are self-haters. Whether or not this is true is irrelevant.

However, I do admit that there are very complex racial overtones in america and it may be possible that some women may be attracted to white men for certain cultural associations.

Regardless, my last girlfriend – who is 22 – I’m 31 – is so post-racial and post-immigrant it was refreshing. She was really comfortable with her self and her identity, as a somewhat-white-mostly-non white-suburban-girl-come-artist. She’s 1/8 Polish, 1/8 German, 1/4 Puerto Rican and 1/2 Chinese. The younger end of my generation has grown up with the concept of “American” detached from race much more than those people my age. I was really happy to have dated her, in part because she had not internalized any of the social stigma that non-white women my age sometimes feel when dating white guys.

Just some observations. The US might be in the shitter economically, and income disparity is at an all-time high, but I’m glad the racialized nature of the US is mellowing out more and more.

LW

September 3, 2010 @ 10:28 am | Comment

It is in some quarters LW, but racial violence and discontent is flaring up in rural areas, inner cities, etc.

Everyone can see what happened here.

That I insulted no one, was very clear in what I said, and was attacked by foaming at the mouth fenwais as usual? The peanut gallery may not agree, but I’m sure most observers would find Jeremiah’s limp-dicked platitudes quite old and stale.

September 3, 2010 @ 11:26 am | Comment

I think it’s time to zip up this thread. Claim victory if it makes you feel better.

September 3, 2010 @ 11:58 am | Comment

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