Cooking for Kim Jong Il

Fans of North Korea’s dear leader will have to read this very funny, very strange article by Kim’s former sushi chef. Just a sample:

During a banquet one night a group of five dancers in the entertainment entourage were performing a disco dance. Suddenly Kim Jong Il ordered, “Take off your clothes!” The girls took off their clothes, but then Kim told them to take it all off. They seemed surprised and could not hide their bewilderment, but they could not object to their Dear Leader’s orders. In awkward embarrassment they stripped down and continued their performance in the nude.

After a while he turned to his cabinet staff members and instructed them, “You guys dance with them too.” And soon enough I, too, was ordered to dance. However, he cautioned us, “You’ll dance, but you won’t touch. If you touch, you’re thieves.” In other words, I think Kim Jong Il felt these girls were like his own daughters.

The article is one weird anecdote after another. At first I thought it was some sort of joke, a parody — but then, nearly any article about Kim tends to read like a parody.

(Link from Arts & Letters Daily.)

The Discussion: 6 Comments

And this is the guy with nukes pointed every which way in Asia.

February 19, 2004 @ 1:19 pm | Comment

Hey, Kim Jong Il buys his melons in Urumqi! Now THAT’S the kind of thing to put Xinjiang on the map!

February 19, 2004 @ 3:15 pm | Comment

I suspect his nukes are about as dangerous as Saddam’s WMDs.

February 19, 2004 @ 9:16 pm | Comment

Boo, I think you are way wrong. Kim’s investment in nukes is a matter of fact, and we have satellite photos that show what he’s been up to. We have seen him flaunting his weapons, and there is no doubt that missiles are aimed at downtown Seoul. Unfortunately, there’s not a damned thing we can do about it.

February 19, 2004 @ 9:29 pm | Comment

We have pictures of a working atomic power plant (made by foreigners) producing material that can be used to make fissionable products. That’s not the same as an atomic weapon. He has some primitive missiles that he uses as a source of foreign currency. Yes, these can devastate Seoul, but I don’t think Kim really cares enough to try, because he’s too decadent and corrupt.

Look up the Ryugyong Hotel on Google to get an idea of roughly where NK’s abilities have been for the last 15 years or so. This is a country that can’t even make concrete blocks properly, even with vast foreign help.

I think Kim is out of touch, and mainly concerned with being able to continue using 10% of GDP to finance his own lifestyle, and has a poor idea of what his own military is producing (much like Saddam).
And in any case, even he realizes that atomic weapons are useless except to extort money from nervous foreign governments. He knows if he ever tried aggressive action, his country would not exist much longer.

February 20, 2004 @ 12:45 am | Comment

Not being an authority on NK,what I do know is that while his army’s equipment is getting rusty, Kim can still inflict massive damage and death to SK anytime he so chooses. Of course he knows it would end his reign and his country, but he uses it as an implicit threat every day of the week, and we have no choice but to cower. It is a true anomaly in international relations.

February 20, 2004 @ 8:31 am | Comment

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