HK Anxieties

Day 4 of my new blog-life. Today is the beginning of the rest of your blog…..

Hong Kong is shrouded in a dull grey overcast, and its been raining on and off all weekend. I’ve now been here a year and 12 days, and while it’s been an incredible experience, surpassing my hopes and dreams, I’m getting anxious. I want to move on, maybe to Shanghai or Bangkok. Unfortunately, jobs are no longer in abundance as they were three years ago, and many of my friends in the US are out of work and feeling quintessentially grim.

I am supposed to write a column for my friend’s Web site, but I just can’t seem to get motivated. Not that that is a new phenomenon with me — finding motivation and energy is my life quest, my impossible dream. So often I just say, “Why bother?”

Watching Stephen (my older brother) pass away five years ago really made everything seem sooooo meaningless. I mean, Mr. Healthy, playing volleyball after work and making millions of dollars and not smoking and never indulging in anything to dangerous — I mean, why of all people should he get lung cancer and die so quickly?

Luck, fate, providence, destiny….and there I am, the family rogue who will try anything and everything once, I walk away fit as a fiddle as Stephen’s ashes are spread around his favorite corner of Central Park. How ironic can it get?

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