Free, hilarious advice for getting where you want to go in China — just say you’re Da Shan.
July 13, 2005
The Discussion: 11 Comments
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
Free, hilarious advice for getting where you want to go in China — just say you’re Da Shan.
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
A peculiar hybrid of personal journal, dilettantish punditry, pseudo-philosophy and much more, from an Accidental Expat who has made his way from Hong Kong to Beijing to Taipei and finally back to Beijing for reasons that are still not entirely clear to him…
Copyright © 2008 The Peking Duck, Some Rights Reserved.
Designed by Dao By Design | Powered by WordPress
1
By Ivan
BLASPHEMERS!
I have built a rock altar in the middle of my apartment, dedicated to Da Shan. It looks like Stonehenge.
Every night I burn sacrifices to Da Shan, like CDs of Kenny G and the Carpenters.
And then I piss all over it.
July 14, 2005 @ 3:00 am | Comment
2
By American man
Da Shan’s Da Man. I’ve been trying to sell out for years. He did it ALL the way. He’s the King of the Monkeys. His parents must be soooo proud.
July 14, 2005 @ 4:28 am | Comment
3
By Ivan
If you mean he’s king of the Bonobo Monkeys – the ones who bend over to get buggered by higher authorities – then yes, he’s king of the Monkeys.
July 14, 2005 @ 4:44 am | Comment
4
By Ivan
Next week on South Park, Da Shan will appear on the “Terence and Philip” show.
And none of their lips will move.
July 14, 2005 @ 4:52 am | Comment
5
By American man
Ivan, I am SURE that the Chinese elites respect him in the morning. I just love how he say’s ABOOT.
July 14, 2005 @ 4:54 am | Comment
6
By Ivan
“As we all know”, Canadians are more cute and cuddly than Americans or Brits. (Thus CCTV chose a Canadian to be their main monkey.)
Except of course for when they’re massacring Indians or French settlers. Or paying slave wages to Chinese workers on the railroad.
Ah, THAT’s it! Da Shan is China’s revenge against Canada, for all the coolies who died building the railroad.
It’s a plot to ruin Canada’s reputation.
After they’re done with him, they’ll hire an American to be their next monkey, a character with a name like:
“The Big Silly Cowboy Who Loves Kenny G”
Hang on, I need to piss on my Da Shan altar again – it’s time for Vespers.
July 14, 2005 @ 5:37 am | Comment
7
By American man
I always thought Canadians were just Americans who say ABOOT and EH? alot.
July 14, 2005 @ 6:02 am | Comment
8
By Ivan
A Canadian is just an American who gets pissed off when you remind him that he is a subject of Queen Elizabeth the Second.
July 14, 2005 @ 7:13 am | Comment
9
By Canadian Man
Don’t talk aboot that eh?
July 14, 2005 @ 7:27 am | Comment
10
By Ivan
A Canadian is just an American whose ancestors were tarred and feathered in Boston and Philadelphia.
I have a friend (well not just one) in England, who told me:
“The difference between you Americans and the Canadians, is that you guys told Britain to f— off. You had a revolution and started your own country, and then we became friends again, because you Americans have NO inferiority complex. But Canada never told Britain to f— off, so the Canadians still have an inferiority complex, and THAT’s why the Canadians take the piss about America so much.”
July 14, 2005 @ 7:58 am | Comment
11
By Shanghai Sky
Join the group http://www.flickr.com/groups/dashan-leave-china/
This is the first step in an international campaign to ban Da Shan from Chinese TV and advertisements.
August 17, 2005 @ 7:33 am | Comment