Calvin Trillin’s George Bush poem, “Nanny Dick”

This was emailed to me by a friend so I can’t provide a link. It is absolutely great.

New Poem by Calvin Trillin

George had trouble at his recent press conference. He had trouble understanding the questions, and he had a difficult time constructing coherent sentences. One exchange in particular caught my attention. He was asked not once but twice why he and Dick were appearing together, not separately as had been requested, before the 9/11 commission. He didn’t answer the question at the press conference. Fortunately George later explained it to Calvin Trillin.


by Calvin Trillin

(George W. Bush explains the interview arrangements
he’s made with the 9/11 Commission)

When called upon to testify
I said I was a busy guy
So maybe we could do it on the phone.
They really want a face to face.
I said, OK, if that’s’s the case,
I’m certainly not doing it alone.

I can’t appear without my nanny Dick.
for Nanny Dick I’ve got a serious jones.
I can’t appear without my Nanny Dick.
I love the way he cocks his head and drones.

Cartoonists show me as a dummy,*
With voice by Cheney (or by Rummy).
I am the butt of every late-night satirist.
But I just can’t go solitaire.
I need the help that’s due an heir.
I need a dad, and dad’s a multilateralist.

I can’t appear without my Nanny Dick.
He brings along a gravitas I lack.
I can’t appear without my Nanny dick—
The one who knows why we attacked Iraq.

Yes, Condi Rice is quite precise
With foreign policy advice
On who’s Afghani and who’s Pakistani.
I like to have her near in case
I just can’t place some foreign face,
But Condoleezza Rice is not my nanny.

I can’t appear without my Nanny dick.
I wouldn’t know which facts I should convey.
I can’t appear without my Nanny Dick.
It’s Nanny Dick who tells me what to say.

*Though Charlie McCarthy’s the dummy
Whose name has been most often heard,
Some folks who remember that act say
I’m close to Mortimer Snerd.

Update: Here’s my friend’s source.

The Discussion: No Comments

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.