Why Gephardt would be a great choice for VP! Hilarious.

Gephardt would have an amazing pull with loser voters, voters who like losing the House to opposing parties, voters who have a long history of being supported by decrepit and dying labor institutions in failing political campaigns, just people who generally like to lose. He could swing loser states, such as Wyoming or Rhode Island, or put states with a large loser population, such as Nevada or Alabama, into play.

The upside to having a Kerry-Gephardt ticket is it would take all those people who go into shock in the voting booth thinkin’ “Oh dear god we nominated Kerry?!” and push them just far enough over the edge with “Oh dear god we nominated Kerry and Gephardt?!” that it would sort of jar them into a feeling of complacent somnambulism that would render them susceptible to voting for Kerry-Gephardt anyway. The downside to this is that such a hypthetical waking sleepstate could also get them to vote for Nader.

Via Belle at Crooked Timber, who in turn says:

This is so, so very true…. Gephardt? Gephardt??!! Please, God, don’t let the Democratic party snatch certain defeat from the jaws of potential victory by choosing Dick Gephardt as the VP candidate. Pleasepleaseplease. Anybody but Gephardt. If the DP makes me cast a vote for a Kerry/Gephardt ticket I’m going to…well, crap, just put out like a straight-ticket ho. They could put a can of processed cheese food on the ballot against Bush, and I would vote for it. But I’m not going to enjoy it! And no ticket with Gephardt on it is going to win, ever in a million years! How can this blindingly obvious fact be so clear to Giblets yet obscure to Kerry? Maybe they are just toying with us. Maybe. Then when they pick Vilsack, instead of saying, “who the hell?” we will all just be so grateful they didn’t pick Gephardt that we’ll get all fired up, like, “Hey, that Vilsack, he sure does…have a lot of consonants in his name! Frickin’ awesome!”

John, are you listening? (I thought Vilsack was a type of pickle.)

The Discussion: One Comment

Oh dear God Nooooooooo!!!!

While I do admire much of what Gephart has accomplished in his political career, I ‘m not sure what would be worse:

A) The certain destruction that would inevitably befall America with another 4 years of Bush and his henchmen.


B) Being forced to listen to oratories from a Vice President that is even more boring and uninspiring than Kerry.

I myself am a former Dean guy, who because of his meteoric rise and fall, has reluctanly been forced by cruel fate to jump on the Kerry bandwagon and hold on for dear life. But there are limits as to how much punnishment I can endure

While a Union guy like Gephart might help to get some pull in the Midwest, I don’t see Gephardt appealling to the average “swing voter” with his overwhelming charisma and charm. -Just call it a hunch.

And other than a choice of maybe Edwards or Bob Graham I say, fuck the South!! Most of those goat ropers are gonna vote for whatever redneck asshole the GOP endorses anyway.

The DFL needs to shake things up, and who better to do it than a guy like Dean.

Please, Mr. Kerry, not Gephardt !!! Have a little mercy !!!

June 30, 2004 @ 11:51 am | Comment

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