Fuwas ‘Beibei,’ ‘Jingjing,’ ‘Huanhuan,’ ‘Yingying,’ and ‘Nini’ are the new darlings of the Olympics! The Fuwas represent the hopes and dreams of the Chinese people. Their forms and headwear symbolize their relationships with the ocean, the forest, fire, land, and sky, and their design makes use of traditional Chinese artistic elements to better display China’s splendid cultural wealth. Fuwa condoms are produced by the Shenzhen Shishangtang Health Products Corporation.
Olympic Wiaggra is the result of years of clinical testing. It uses internationally leading nanometer compound extraction technology to combine natural horticultural and animal elements in a finely powdered form, rather than sildenafl and other compounds…Promoting rejuvenation, increases in length, girth, and function, the medicine is effective for a period of 180 hours and will lead to no side effects, dependencies, facial flushing, increased heart rate, severe headaches, heart disease, increased blood pressure, or diabetes. May be taken in conjunction with alcohol with no deleterious effects.
Best used by:
1. Individuals with short or small penises, underdeveloped genitalia, persons of middle or advanced age experiencing weakness or depletion of the kidney humors, penile shrinkage, premature ejaculation or decreased sexual urge,
2. Persons seeking to improve their quality of life, better themselves, and increase stamina;
3. Persons dissatisfied with their current penis who are seeking to lengthen it; individuals experiencing waist and back pain, weakness of the extremities, insomnia or narcolepsy.
tr. note: The company that makes Viagra got a trademark for the product name in Chinese, “Wan’aike,” but neglected to trademark the name everybody actually uses, “Weige.” This allows knock-off makers to effectively sell their products as Viagra, with no legal repercussions.
Zhongle imports and refines American ingredients to produce Star of the Olympics, which promotes circulation of the male vital force, replenishes the kidney, and need only be taken once every seven days. (Under no circumstances should it be taken more often, as the user’s sexual partner is likely to experience extreme fatigue.) This product has absolutely no side effects. Protracted use can promote growth in penlie length and girth and the effective resolution of impotence and premature ejaculation.
Usage instructions: 20 minutes before the commencement of bedroom affairs, take one capsule. Pill will be most effective one hour afterwards.
Richard Burger is the author of Behind the Red Door: Sex in China, an exploration of China's sexual revolution and its clash with traditional Chinese values.