Just because it’s soooo weird…

News out of China has been skimpy the past day or two and I haven’t felt too inspired to post, especially since I’m on vacation. To make up for the dearth in fresh material, and to give all of us a pre-Christmas laugh, allow me to quote from a blog I stumbled on earlier today, and hope never to stumble upon again.

May of the typcial anti-war types have been out shilling the economic miracle of the Market Economy Based Dengist Revisionist Reactionary Capitalist Roader Clique and it’s impact on Red China since the 1980 Party Congress, where they Deified Mao, and Moved On To MAKING MONEY!!!! Many of these advocates of “going china” are all excited about how the Chinese are Urbanizing and just creating new Million Plus Person Metropolitan Areas where they find the ground to plant the new Factories and build the Urban Sprawl Around it!!!!!

But has anyone really THOUGHT about what this sort of MetroSexual Revolution in China is all about????? HUM???? it is about creating the very sort of radicall Leftist Leaning Blue State Types Who HATE JESUS and want to DESTROY OUR WHITE CHRISTIAN AMERICA!!! Just like Nancy Pelosi and her Evil Sinisister and Satanic Voodoo Zombie Dust Bunnies Of Despair!!!!!

Can the WORLD allow this Heinous Rise in the Culture of Death and allow China to Fall to the Blue States???? NO!!!! I Say we must do our part to SAVE China from Falling to the Blue staters which would be the Fast Track To The Jack Booted Ironed Fist of China Falling To The Communist Red Hordes!!!! Something that the Satanic Nancy Pelosi and her Evil Sinisister and Satanic Voodoo Zombie Dust Bunnies Of Despair are at this very Moment CONSPIRING to make Happen!!!!!

So now more than EVER all TRUE Patriotically, and Theologically, Corrector Than Thou, must support the President and the Clear and Compelling Mandate to Rescue China From The Red Hordes Of Blue Stater-ism!!!! At most this would take a few thousand nuclear war heads selectively targetted at specific centers of Anti-Americanism and Anti-White-Christian-Americanism at that!!!! Then followed up by a token force of Holy Crusaders who would bring the True Gospel of the Great And Glorious White Christian American Way of life, and the Chinese People Would greet us with Open Arms and The Love that we had come to liberate them from the hiddeous and heinous onslaught of the Globalist Economy and their Sinister Blue Helmetted One Worlder UN governmenalist Excessive Regulaltionists!!! Who are all under the Secret Mind Control of Nancy Pelosi and her Evil Sinisister and Satanic Voodoo Zombie Dust Bunnies Of Despair!!!!!

All HAIL GREAT LEADER!!!! Because HE is keeping america amerian and free from the Dark Menace of the Blue Staters Culture Of Death!!!!

Ironically, it’s the Dems who are more likely to implement protectionist, populist Lou Dobbs-style legislation to punish China’s success, while the GOP’s big business wing goes out of its way to court China’s leaders. Well, I suppose it takes all kinds. I want to think the blogger is making a joke. Unfortunately, after perusing his site I have to conclude he really means it.

Again, I’m posting this only because it’s so odd and ridiculous and unintentionally hilarious, and because I’m a bit short on inspiration. It’s also incredibly ignorant and repellent, but hopefully all of us know that.

The Discussion: 20 Comments

{Raj or Richard:Feel free to delete this comment if it is unacceptable}

๐Ÿ™‚

The US president is awakened during the night by an urgent call from the Pentagon.

“Mr. President,” the general says, “there’s good news and there’s bad news.”

“Oh no,” the president sighs. “Well, go ahead, give me the bad news first.”

“The bad news, sir, is that we’ve been invaded by creatures from another planet.”

“Dear God!” the president exclaims. “And the good news?”

“The good news,” the general says, “is that they eat Chinamen and piss oil.”

December 22, 2006 @ 10:48 am | Comment

It can stay, Admiral – it’s a joke, and we all know it’s making fun of the president, not knocking China.

December 22, 2006 @ 11:06 am | Comment

๐Ÿ™‚

I guess these last 3 months in Kuala Lumpur have me a little extra-pc-concious.
That guy’s blog reminds of why I left rural South Carolina 22 years ago. I also think he’s serious. Unfortunately he is not alone in his opinions and attitude. There are still a large majority of people in The South who share his views. Sad.

December 22, 2006 @ 11:18 am | Comment

Ye Gods! This guy has taken “Who Lost China?” to a whole new meth-crazed, paint-inhaling, jab-a-knitting-needle-through-my-cerebral-cortex-Mama-because -I’m-coming-home level.

Where do you find this stuff?

December 22, 2006 @ 11:20 am | Comment

Where do you find this stuff?

I have a sixth sense for tracking down bizarre stories about China. That, and a glance at Virtual China’s Technorati aggregator, led me to this mind-numbingly stupid post.

December 22, 2006 @ 11:33 am | Comment

I like the part about people who hate Jesus. Most of the people I hang around with are not religious or Jewish but I’ve never heard of anyone actually hating Jesus. I wonder if such a person exists. I can imagine it now. He’s just stubbed his toe, and screams out “Damn you Jesus!” it’s all your fault! I’m going to get you if it’s the last thing I do!!!!!!!

December 22, 2006 @ 1:14 pm | Comment

Oh mah god, Pha – if I’d been drinking anything when i read your comment, I’d be spraying it at my nose. Thank you for my best laugh of the day!

BTW, most Democratic strategists are at the point where they are willing to pretty much bypass the South in favor of the mountain states. The reason being that although we’d like to think it’s not true, a majority of voters in the south (i.e, white folks) are still racists in a way that most of the rest of the country have left behind. That’s not to say that there aren’t plenty of non-racist, reasonable people in the south, but unfortunately the electoral majority are still stuck somewhere in Reconstruction.

Hopefully they’ll get over it soon.

December 22, 2006 @ 2:07 pm | Comment

Richard

Now this is one of the reason I hang around so often. I having the best laugh of the week, but when you tell me he actually meant it, it gets even more hilarious. You mean these rednecks actually exist and to this extend. They need to feel the sea and teh sea breeze that might clear their heads abit

December 22, 2006 @ 3:12 pm | Comment

Basically, bad China needs to be punished for its bad behaviors (supporting Kim Fat Troll, building on slave labor, spreading NBC weapons and deflecting UN action in Africa) and expats shall feel the back o’ me hand when China collapses and the Int’l Reconstruction Authority is building the new Wu Nation.

December 22, 2006 @ 3:36 pm | Comment

Whoa. That post is for real?

Lisa: Come on, now. “Majority” of the South? Too many, but not by any means a majority. I hope you’re not secretly one of those insulated west-coasters who actually believe that a few redneck blog posts represents the majority of the South.

And I am from *there*. I’m qualified to know.

December 22, 2006 @ 7:38 pm | Comment

I think you’re on to something big, Richard.

Nancy Pelosi being “defined” by the epitheton ornans “and her Evil Sinisister and Satanic Voodoo Zombie Dust Bunnies Of Despair” makes me reminisce the Ilias and it’s “Hector with the gleaming helmet” (whether he was sitting in his bath or running around on the battlefield, the helmet was always gleaming). I think the author is solliciting entry into the gallery of the really great classics.

Who wrote this piece ? Homer ?
Simpson, I mean ๐Ÿ™‚

December 22, 2006 @ 8:16 pm | Comment

Ah, come on, guys! This is satire…clumsy and waaay over the top, but still satire. I went to the site and read some of his previous postings and they are equally far out.

“Secret Mind Control of Nancy Pelosi and her Evil Sinisister and Satanic Voodoo Zombie Dust Bunnies Of Despair” (repeated 3 times) indeed!

Oops, is this a “Gotcha!” where Richard and everyone else know it’s satire and I took you all seriously?

December 22, 2006 @ 8:22 pm | Comment

” Unfortunately, after perusing his site I have to conclude he really means it.”

No, Richard, it’s satire. I’ve read some of his other stuff and it’s all in the same vein.

The guy is taking the piss of Far-Right space cadets through some fine over-the-top parody.

December 22, 2006 @ 8:41 pm | Comment

This posting of his on John Lennon is obviously a wind-up (and pretty funny):

“Radical Left Wing Extremist Terrorist Plot Unmasked!!!!
The Super Secret Spy Records Of the Super Secret Spy Program have put america at risk because they reveal the true natue of the Super Secret Spy Program
Well, it seems the country that the United States was poised to offend was Britain. And the most damning evidence revealed in yesterdayโ€™s release? Mr. Lennon was being courted by British leftists in the early 1970โ€™s to help โ€œfinance a left-wing bookshop and reading room in London.โ€
[ cf Has Stephen Colbert Been Hiding John Lennonโ€™s F.B.I. Legacy? ]
ZOMGZ!!!!!!

Once again the Evil Liberal Media Meat Puppets Betray our Great Leader and Our Ever Glorious and Ever Victorious Victorians Of Victory Who are the Holy Crusaders Of Crusading Holiness!!!!! With their Evil And Sinister Betrayal of National Security By Exposing the Super Secret Spy Program!!!!!!

Yes, oh Yes!!! Of course the Radical Left Wingers would say that simply because John Lennon has been dead for a few years that this should stop the investigation into how Dangerous That Dangerous Person really was, and evenn MORE SO NOW!!!! Clearly the National Psychic Community has been put at risk, since, only the National Psychic Community, under the control of the Directorate Of State Patriotism Defense, would be able to carry on the Super Secret Spy Program of the No Longer Living, so see what sort of Dangerous Threat this whole Culture of Death, run by Dead Leftists, brings to scare innocent blonde blue eyed white christian virgin Teenage Cheerleader Girls!!!!

And Oh Yes, we should bomb canada as well, because John Lennon LOOKED like a Canadianists… ”

December 22, 2006 @ 8:44 pm | Comment

Parody or not, it sure is funny.

December 22, 2006 @ 8:56 pm | Comment

I agree with Mark and Sojourner, Richard — it’s parody. Too over-the-top even for Republicans. You gotta keep your snark-meter on the sensitive setting, mate. There’s a community of sites that poke fun at right-wingers, including Conservatives For American Values (cfav.blogspot.com) and Jesus’ General (patriotboy.blogspot.com) which are much funnier than the one you posted. But what’s funniest, especially at Conservatives for American Values, is reading the comments of all the outraged liberals who don’t glom the satire.

December 23, 2006 @ 8:20 am | Comment

I at first thought it was parody, then looked around and decided he was just nuts. Like I said, parody or not it was a funny read.

December 23, 2006 @ 11:16 am | Comment

Sorry Richard. Totally parody. If you need a dead tip-off, the logo he uses is the Yellow Elephant. To say nothing of the use of “the Great Leader” throughout.

He is, however, pointing to something legitimately ironic, and another reason why the BigBizness/cultural conservative alliance that’s funded the GOP is so bizarre. The cosmopolitanism of BigBizness is likely to encourage other countries to develop in ways that aren’t exactly congenial with the hard core religious right. A billion Blue Staters is a truly comic nightmare.

December 23, 2006 @ 11:52 am | Comment

Yes, yes, I admit it’s total parody. I forgot about the yellow elephant, a dead giveaway.

I would also say that as parody it’s kind of clumsy. Jesus’ General is a work of art – a wry smile breaks onto your face within a few lines, and the writing is first rate. It’s use of irony is poetic. Here, it’s just one massive scream that liberals are awful and Bush is great. Yes, I now see that it’s parody – I just wish it were funnier.

December 23, 2006 @ 12:04 pm | Comment

The thing about so much right-wing thought, as evidenced by your “friends” on Malkin, is that it’s so far-out that it’s hard to differentiate parody from actuality. At least left-wingers parodying right-wingers are funnier than the few sites I’ve seen that attempt to go the other way. Another sign of how they just don’t comprehend different thinking. You have to know what your opponent is talking about to properly mock him.

December 24, 2006 @ 3:54 am | Comment

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