What to do about John Hinderaker? PowerTool‘s most outspoken and stunningly ignorant contributor, HindrakerAssrocket has dragged blogging down to the gutter and reduced political discourse to a few simple, ugly talking points: the Democrats are very bad, and they always do bad things, while the Republicans are really, really good, and even if they get caught doing really bad things, it’s still the fault of Democrats. I know, that sounds really silly, and you can’t believe someone as stuffy and smug as Assrocket could really be so simplistic. But wait; I have proof!

Here’s what Time magazine’s former Blog of the Year had to say about today’s Tom Delay announcement, which everyone knows is due to his being up to his eyeballs in dirty Jack Abramoff money. 72 hours before today’s big announcement, one of Delay’s top aides, Tony Rudy, pleaded guilty to taking funny money from Abramoff/Scanlon and will sing to the prosecutors, almost certainly to Delay’s detriment; Assrocket doesn’t think it’s worth a mention.

DeLay was an effective leader, albeit too liberal in recent years [oy; emphasis added]. It’s possible, of course, that he did something wrong along the way. But there is no evidence of that in the public domain; as I’ve often said, the politically-inspired prosection of DeLay by Travis County’s discredited DA, Ronnie Earle, is a bad joke. As far as we can tell at the moment, DeLay appears to be yet another victim of the Democrats’ politics of personal destruction–the only politics they know.

With all the exposure of all the sins of Jack Abramoff and the close ties the criminals maintained with the Delay circle, all Assrocket can do is squeal about wicked Democrats. (And we all know how they are the masters of personal destruction; look at how they used the Swift Boat veterans to destroy — oh, wait, Kerry was a Democrat.) If this was really just about political destruction, wouldn’t you think Bug Man would put up the fight of his life? After all, if he’s innocent he has little to lose. Another blogger – one who is more responsible and more upfront with his readers – puts it a lot better.

DeLay’s lawyers must have sat him down over the last 72 hours and explained to him that he needs to focus on not spending most of the rest of his life in prison.

Well, duuuuh. Yet Assrocket can see only Democratic treachery, with nary a peep about Delay being in bed with a confessed felon, rip-off artist and sleazebag.

Remember, this is the same John Assrocket who offered us these pearls of wisdom last year about our Codpiece in Chief.

It must be very strange to be President Bush. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can’t get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile.

I’m not making that up. He actually said it. I try never to go to PowerTools, because it’s too maddening. He actually says as a matter of fact that we have found WMDs in Iraq, that we have proven Al Qaeda was involved in 911, and Bush is a genius. Not even Malkin or Chuckles Johnson stoop to this level of boot licking, and of printing flagrant untruths. Malkin and Johnson may get things wrong, but I’ve never accused them of making shit up, the way Assrocket does. No wonder he doesn’t have comments on his site – he’s so easy to rip to pieces.

For a wickedly funny satire of PowerTools, this is required reading.

The Discussion: 2 Comments

Wait…Delay is too liberal?!?!?!?

Is it still April Fool’s?

April 4, 2006 @ 12:27 am | Comment



Oh God, the name is like something out of “Doctor Strangelove.” It’s General Jack D Ripper:

“We cannot allow the (fill in the blanks) conspiracy, to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids!”

(Chomp chomp on cigar….)

April 4, 2006 @ 3:39 pm | Comment

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